The C-Word

Now series 1 of Raised By Wolves is over, other than count how many tears it takes to fill my massive mug and dilute my orange squash, I don’t know what Channel 4 expect me to do with my Monday nights. My current coping mechanism is to Pic Collage Caitlin Moran’s face onto the Queen and wait until I’m sued for copyright infringement:rsz_photo_27-04-2015_20_11_37

Whilst we (Yes I’m using inclusive pronouns. It can’t be just me…) mourn the departure of Germaine, Aretha and of course Della- my life ambition- I thought it would be an appropriate time to celebrate one of my all time favourite C-words, Caitlin Moran, via her fabulously honest words of wisdom. (For anyone who doesn’t know who said awesome lady is, a brief description: think Laura Bates but with more eyeliner. And if you don’t know who Laura Bates is either then you need to go out more.)*

On Being a Feminist (great word):

rsz_photo_27-04-2015_20_12_15

“We need to reclaim the word ‘feminism’. We need the word ‘feminism’ back real bad. When statistics come in saying that only 29% of American women would describe themselves as feminist – and only 42% of British women – I used to think, What do you think feminism IS, ladies? What part of ‘liberation for women’ is not for you? Is it freedom to vote? The right not to be owned by the man you marry? The campaign for equal pay? ‘Vogue’ by Madonna? Jeans? Did all that good shit GET ON YOUR NERVES? Or were you just DRUNK AT THE TIME OF THE SURVEY?”

On Why Glass Isn’t a Great Material for Making Ceilings: rsz_photo_27-04-2015_20_17_37

“It’s difficult to see the glass ceiling because it’s made of glass. Virtually invisible. What we need is for more birds to fly above it and shit all over it, so we can see it properly.”

On the Representation of Powerful Women:

rsz_photo_27-04-2015_20_17_50

“I have read more about Oprah Winfrey’s ass than I have about the rise of China as an economic superpower. I fear this is no exaggeration. Perhaps China is rising as an economic superpower because its women aren’t spending all their time reading about Oprah Winfrey’s ass.”

On Underwear (*insert enthusiastically preachy arms emoji HERE*):
rsz_photo_27-04-2015_20_14_27“I’m going to lie this one right on the line, right here, right now: I’m pro big pants. Strident feminism NEEDS big pants. Really big. I’m currently wearing a pair that could have been used as a fire blanket to put out the Great Fire of London at any point during the first 48 hours or so. They extend from the top of my thigh to my belly button, and effectively double up as a second property that I can escape to at weekends. If I were going to run for parliament, it would be solely on a platform of ‘Get Women In Massive Grundie’s’.”

On the World’s Most Important Books (…maybe my words not hers):

rsz_photo_27-04-2015_20_18_09

“Now I’m 13, I can get adult books out of the library, without having to borrow my parents’ cards. And that means I can get secret books out. Dirty books. Books with sex in.”

On How Good it Sounds to Brag about food: rsz_photo_27-04-2015_20_10_17“Man, I was on the shepherd’s pie last night like you wouldn’t believe. I had, like, MASH in my EYEBROWS by 10pm. I was on a total mince rush!”

Side Notes:

*Going out more is defined as walking to Waterstones, picking up a copy of How To Be A Woman or Everyday Sexism or a book of the same effect and reading it. You may then return to going out less.

**No Queens or Caitlins were physically harmed in the making of this blog, however their dignities are another matter

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