What To Expect When You’re Expecting To Be Found

When it comes to blogging, youtubing (because I like to invent verbs), vlogging and other regretfully Zoella- inspired activities, there is only one outcome: people will find you. And sadly by that I don’t mean international recognition and 2 million followers on Twitter. No, when you start blogging- just like when you join Facebook- all the friends you haven’t seen since 2005 come crawling out the wormholes in the woodwork to judge you and your creation. But mainly just you.

So seeing as most people reading this will be bloggers, except from you Rosie Bayliss who’s just a creepy eco stalker, I thought we could discuss the thing that even the bearers of the biggest blogger vanities fear: being found. Cosmopolitman

Phase 1: Why is no one following me?

So you’ve picked your domain name, chosen your theme (which will probably be the Sela one let’s be realistic here my fellow WordPressers) and written your first post, written your second post, written your third- it’s then that you realise no one is reading them. This doesn’t mean they’re rubbish pieces of writing, although if it’s in your archives it probably will be, it just means people can’t find you. And in your bewildered naivety, you think this is a bad thing.

Ooh speaking of archives, I’ve attached pictures of some of my self-proclaimed best bits and if you want to read the post all you have to do is click the pic (copyrighting that ASAP before ITV makes a gameshow out of it) to take you to the page. That's a Rap

Phase 2: I’ll share the link with my mum

If you share amongst your family then at least you’ll have a few readers right? You can showcase your tremendulous writing skills and your stellar commitment simultaneously- which is especially helpful when you try and convince your parents to get a dog. “Do you know how much work a dog is?” They’d sigh, stirring the Waitrose essential Moroccan quinoa but instead of replying you fold your napkin into an origami WordPress logo and moonwalk out the room- aka it’s a flawless idea. Until your Grandma starts thinking ‘Teamales’ are a satanic cult and your dad keeps perving over the cleavage in your logo and everyone keeps complaining about how much time you spend on ‘that thing that you do every Monday’. No Grandma it’s not blobbing. Have You Heard The News?

Phase 3: I am going to promote on social media

Okay so I’ve tried my family and they clearly don’t possess enough Netflix and Chill to see the potential of my blogging career, so now that my readership is back down to next door’s cat, I’m going to have to find people my own age instead. Where do you find people my age? (Shoutout to the woman at the back that called out ‘church fêtes’ but I’m afraid this isn’t 1965.) The answer is of course, the internet. And because the internet is where the party’s at, social media plays a key role in the promotion of everything you do- including drinking Starbucks which takes up at least 78% of my Instagram feed. In hindsight this is where it gets dangerous, but you’re too busy thinking about your overnight success for that. I’m going to have actual followers! Actual people are going to read my work and see my pictures and quote words from my ghost-written bestseller in their Tumblr profiles. I will be great. Boob Clap

Phase 4: I wish I hadn’t promoted on social media

Because now that I’m getting comments on my blog I’m realising that people actually read what I’ve written and they could hate it just as much as I want them to like it- this is especially stressful when it’s people you know. People online are (usually) quite sweet, I hate to crack the mirror here but if I ever leave a ‘hahahaha this is soy qewt can’t wait to read more xox’ on your blog it’s probably because I can’t think of anything to say except ‘look at how fake I am’, but at least it’s nice. Surprisingly, people in real life seem to be less nice. Luckily I don’t say this from personal experience (although I did have one friend who sighed when I told her I’d started blogging because I was ‘such a stereotype’) for me the response has been largely positive because I’m so hilarious. However, I had a friend with a YouTube channel that was teased endlessly because of it. And it’s times like those when you regret letting people into your private blogger bubble. Sia Or Not

Phase 5: Being introduced as ‘This is Jess, yeah JESS Jess…you know, the one that blogs’

Letting people know you blog can be the scariest, most intimidating, most socially suicidal thing you’ll ever do, but once you’ve done it you become known for it. And that feels EPIC (think I just stole that from the Money Supermarket advert but it accurately summarises how I feel so hopefully Dave won’t mind). Being introduced as the friend that blogs, having people pass you in the corridors and tell you how much they liked last week’s post, getting tweets of anticipation on a Monday night- that’s what blogging’s all about. It’s difficult coming out- that is if you decide to, I also know people that blog completely privately and that’s great too- but people will judge you regardless so I’d tell you to go for it. Share your posts on all your social media. Scratch your domain name into the toilet door with a paperclip. Pump your blogger vanity until it’s maximum capacity because you are possibly above average and therefore need to give yourself some love. Free the Tampon

Alternatively, you (yes YOU random reader that’s managed to find me and whom I now appreciate very much) could give me some love by liking, commenting or subscribing if you enjoyed/related to/laughed at this post.

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29 thoughts on “What To Expect When You’re Expecting To Be Found

  1. iwannabealady says:

    I thought I was one of a few who didn’t advertise my blog. I mean, my friends and family do know about it, but they aren’t really readers and don’t seem to really be too concerned. Maybe they actually don’t like me or think I’m as hilarious as I know myself to be. Not quite sure how I feel about that! Every once in a while if they make an appearance in a post I’ll send them the link. Otherwise, I think I’m happy with the lack of oversight and my blogging family is building up quite nicely, so I’m good. I love a bit of creeping and one day, ONE DAY, they will realize my greatness and bow before me. I say this in all humility, of course.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jess says:

      Hahaha love it! My auntie found my blog the other day and she was so lovely and supportive, it motivated me to put even more energy into it. I personally love sharing my blog with people because I’m really proud of it, but occasionally I do rant about my family or friends so I guess that could be very awkward xo

      Liked by 1 person

  2. The Hedgeblog says:

    Ha ha! You have echoed my thoughts about blogging exactly – except in a considerably more amusing way! I do regret telling friends & family, ‘cos now I feel I have to be careful of what I say. *wonder if I can ditch them somehow?* 😈

    Great blog! Keep going!!

    The Hedgehog x

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jess says:

      Hahaha exactly! I tried to tell my mum I blogged every (insert day that isn’t Monday) so she’d be looking for my new post on a day I wasn’t promoting it but I think she’s got me sussed now- she’s my biggest stress on a Monday night saying JESS YOU’RE BLOG IS LATE(!!) and I’m like thanks mum I KNOW. But the support is wonderful and I can’t imagine doing it in secret x

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Izzy says:

    Love this! I’m at a stage where I don’t even know who knows about my blog/YT which is kinda scary (why does YouTube let people stay private WHYYY!??) but starting to just think YOLO and post the occasional cheeky insta with a “blog post coming soon” caption ;)) So far I haven’t had anyone put me down about it but I live in fear! Squishy hugs my blobbing babe xxxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jess says:

      Ngl you were basically the inspiration for this post because I saw all your tweets like OMG JUST ADDED MY BLOG LINK TO MY INSTA PAGE so I was like ooh let’s document Izzy’s journey. Apparently it’s quite a relatable one (although p.s. where is my newsletter how am I supposed to stay updated with Frizzle’s blogger freebie filled life if you don’t email me about it *cries*) happy blobbing bunny xox

      Liked by 1 person

      • Izzy says:

        awwwwwwwwwww!! but yes this is literally me. one minute I’m all like “yeh let’s just go for it and share it around” and the next I’m “omfg omfg the boy I fancied for my entire childhood just subscribed to my channel I must go and die in a hole from cringe”.
        Also if you’d signed up to said newsletter at the beginning then you would’ve already had 2 doses of Frizzy amazingness, however tomorrow a cheeky email shall be coming your way xxxxx

        Like

    • Jess says:

      Thank you! No really, thank you! (I feel like everything I say is just going to sound like a parody now!) I was actually really surprised by the amount of commenters saying they didn’t tell anyone they blog. I just assumed everyone was a motor mouth like me- but I’ve learned that as long as you love your words it really doesn’t matter how many readers you have x

      Like

  4. inspiredelegance says:

    I only told a few of my friends I had a blog and somehow a lot of people from my old school found out! You obviously get the immature ‘lads’ that laughed and that really put my confidence down. But I’m starting to not care now! This post was lovely xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jess says:

      Oh gosh that was so awful I remember when your Twitter went private for a bit because some LADS (blady lad culture when will they learn there’s nothing cool about being a numpty) were being well lads. I love your blog and your YouTube channel though so who’s the real winner here (the answer is YOU) xo

      Like

  5. Seasweetie says:

    It’s been hard for me to balance the personal part of my blog with the public persona. I’m not one of those people to whom strangers say “Oh, that’s you?” when I tell them I blog. (Maybe one day.) But I do tend to share a significant amount of personal stuff in my blog, and want to share more, but know I have readers (aka, friends and family) with whom I may not want to share said stuff. Sharing with strangers is much easier. I had a wonderful blog friend who, after several years of amazing anonymous writing, dropped out of the blogosphere when one of her family members found her blog. It still saddens me. But there is no shame in my life, my past (remarkable as some of it is) or my thoughts – no shame in me. So there’s no reason for anyone NOT to see my words. If they judge in some negative fashion, that speaks about them, not about me. BRAVERY.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Jess says:

      VERY WELL SAID (I have to use shouty caps until Apple creates a font that looks preachy and agreeing with enthusiasm and maybe an eagle can fly out my iPad while the American national anthem plays or something. Just an idea). It’s so upsetting to think people would stop doing what they love because of the judgement from others, but I guess if you’re talking about personal things it can get complicated really quickly- especially if the wrong people find your posts. For me there’s not bigger ego boost than googling images of ‘teacups’ and seeing my logo come up- I hope everyone gets some sort of similar feel good moment in their blogging life x

      Liked by 2 people

    • Jess says:

      I was so surprised by the amount of people commenting saying they hadn’t shared their blog with anyone! I talk way too much so my top secret blog didn’t stay secret for very long. Thank you for reading.

      Liked by 1 person

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