Teamales! I’ve missed you- I was totally enjoying college until the part where they tell you you’re failing at English even though English is literaturely (I’m punning through the tears) the only thing you know how to do so half an hour crying, another hour talking through your life choices with some custard creams and an emotional text chat with Saoirse later I am finally glad to be writing for the people that matter again. You crazy kids. Thanks for sticking around, I’m probably way too introverted in my gratitude, but I really really mean it. Thank you for reading my nonsense.
And some people have gone the step further and nominated that nonsense for a Liebster Award! I’ve collected three (bit of a Liebster whore I know), picked my favourite questions and put them in a jumbo jet of post- so I can inflate my ego in one night instead of boring you for three. Firstly, thank you to Sophie the journalism star I met at Heat magazine that seems to have the coolest social life/wardrobe/selfie skills https://sophieellenthomas.wordpress.com/ Kelly who I still can’t believe cut all her hair off for charity(!) https://velvetandvibranium.wordpress.com/ and Peach & Kuma my favourite blogging duo (mainly because there is SO MUCH CAKE on their Instagram) http://theclosetplebeians.com/
Costa or Starbucks? I hate Starbucks. Except from the free cinnamon sprinkle shaker on the trolley with the straws on, there is nothing about it I like. They’re all rather full of students choosing which Instagram filter gives the most autumnal vibes to their PSL or too busy not paying their tax to serve me. Plus, what’s with the whole writing names on cups thing? When I am (forced) in Starbucks (and trust me the Cobham services one is only just bearable) getting a drink with my dad they end up writing JOHN on all of the cups. Our whole family isn’t called JOHN- if you’re going to personalise it at least do it properly. And Jon’s name isn’t even spelt JOHN in the first place.
Have you ever broken a bone? I’d never broken a bone until I was about 8 and ran into the garden to retrieve my fife but forgot to open the patio doors as I did so. You know in animated films where a bird flies into a window and then slides down the glass to the soundtrack of a small child screaming. That was me. But more middle class and broken nose.
If you could have dinner with five people, dead or alive, who would they be? GREAT QUESTION. Although always impossible to answer because there are so many combinations and great people and not so great people but ones that would be hella interesting to tear and share a rosemary focaccia with. My final list would probably be: Walt Disney, Freddie Mercury, Sylvia Plath, Anastasia Romanov and Miranda Hart (am I the only one really annoyed that I haven’t done that in chronological order?) However if one of them cancelled at the last minute I’d get Jamie Dornan in and spend the night stroking his beard.
On reflection that sounds a bit creepy but tell me you wouldn’t want to ruffle his chin fluff. Exactly. YOU CAN’T.
Which blogger do you most look up to? The tallest one.
What fictional character do you identify with? It sounds slightly depressive but (it’s okay I’m not going to say Christian Grey) (yet) Esther Greenwood from The Bell Jar was always such a magnet for me. The book was written at a time when women in literature had always been presented as the swooning, lovestruck secondary characters that were rather romantically chasing or being chased but Sylvia Plath takes that image and uses her Shewee to piss on it. Esther is depressed and confused and a bit of a weirdo aka me. Aka all of us, really.
What’s in your handbag? Usually tampons. Probably tampons. Oh also 30p because I’ve learnt that 30p can get you out of a lot of awkward situations- Victoria Station toilets I’m looking at you.
How would you describe your style? I’ve thought way too much about this one. Let’s go with librarian-wanders-through-a-farmers-market-and-accidentally-bumps-into-Scottish-Zooey-Deschanel-chic. I feel like that summaries the right ratio of tartan to mustard.
What makes you instantly fall in love with a song? Usually it just has to be featured in a Disney film and I’ll love it regardless of who it’s sung by or what it’s about (especially if it’s written by HRH Alan Menken) but I’m also a huge fan of production. The backing track to every song on Sia’s 1000 Forms of Fear is gold dust; there’s nothing better than a well written piece of music, if you get what I mean. No Bieber that isn’t you.
What is your favorite flavour of ice-cream? I was a diehard butterscotch kinda girl until I discovered peanut butter ice cream and wow. From now on I’m forever spreading it like it’s peanut butter jelly. In a cone. With a flake. (Unless you’re one of the weirdos like my dad- JOHN!- that prefers his ice cream in a tub.)
Do you have a soggy bottom? Well that’s just rude.
(In all honestly though I have wet myself quite a few times at socially unacceptable ages so I wouldn’t be surprised if I did have)
Any cost saving tips to share with us Plebs? I’m no Kirsty Allsop (no really, Kirsty I love you but putting a toilet roll tube on top of the Christmas tree is a thrifty step too far) but clothes are ridiculously expensive, especially if you want to keep up with the latest trends- which, by the sight of my Gola bag and Silly Bandz, you can tell I do. I never buy clothes full price anymore, I steal them. Well, I feel like I’m stealing them because if you use apps like Depop or Vinted you can find brand new Topshop/Urban Outfitters/Jack Wills/could I prove I’m any middle classer by the places I’ve listed, clothes for an absolute fraction of the price.
Now my questions for you:
What’s your go-to dance move?
In the movie version of your life, what would your catchphrase be?
Which Disney character are you most like?
If the Eiffel Tower and the leaning tower of Pisa were both running for class president who would you vote for?
What’s your favourite piece of punctuation?
Can you speak any other languages (bonus points if they include dolphin)?
If you were a unicorn what colour would your horn be?
Late nights or early mornings?
What’s your album of the year so far?
What would your stage name be? (And don’t pretend you don’t have one…I refuse to believe it’s just me)
And my nominees:
I know that the Liebster Award’s been around for a while now so the people I nominate have probably already done it (this will be the excuse I use to make my ego feel better when you ignore me) just know that I love the magic you make on your site.
Plus, of course, anyone else that wants to jump on the bandwagon.