Confessions of a Bad Blogger

A few weeks ago I didn’t post. This is now a bit awks because you’re all sat there like soz Jess didn’t even notice you were gone but trust me, I was, and I felt really sad inside. Every Monday for over a year I’ve posted and then on Tuesday I read the comments (which I’m supposed to reply to on Wednesday but always forget), Thursday is promo day, Friday blogger chats, Saturday I have to re-edit because I realise there’s about 8 typos and then Sunday I’m writing the next post. When there was no post I suddenly had nothing to read or promote. I was literally half a girl. However, my lack of commitment did inspire this: Confessions of a Bad Blogger

Snail Speed Replies: I love your comments more than I love most members of my immediate family, they’re so intricate and thoughtful and feminist; I feel like in order to reply to my full capacity (cough cough Jess babe are you trying to make excuses because this really isn’t subtle) I need a good 90 minutes and a cherry bakewell flavoured tea. It’s just a shame that IB students don’t have a spare 90 minutes very often. I will always reply to every reply you just might have to wait a week. Or two. Max.

I Don’t Plan Posts in Advance: I wish I could be the person who rolls out of bed to the sound of WordPress notifications, throws on clothing sent to them for free to review and tends to the bullet journal where they’ve planned every post for the next two centuries while sipping something incredibly romanticised but equally gross like elderflower cordial from their Blogger Of The Year trophy. But I can’t. I used to have some random posted notes with ideas on dotted around my room but that got too risky after my Grandma came to stay and asked “Why do you have PORN PROBLEMS written on your wall?” Thanks Gma, legend as per.

Fat Fingers Follow Back: I always see people making comments about how much they hate the bloggers who follow and unfollow them regularly rather on their blog or surrounding social media and, basically, I’ve realised this is probably me. But before we get all eye roll emoji at my behaviour please just hear me out. What usually happens is this: I follow someone, they tweet about how much they love Victoria’s Secret or Donald Trump or Aldi and I’m like woah I don’t want to read this so I unfollow. A week or so later Crowdfire will be like babe this gal follows you why don’t you follow her back and by this point I’ve forgotten the Vicky/Trump/Aldi situ and follow. Obvs another week later when I realise it’s them I unfollow. But then the biggest problem- I have fat thumbs and because most following I do is done with my thumbs I accidentally follow all the people that I’m trying to unfollow. And calamities like this can go on for ages, I’m really not trying to get your attention, if anything I want the opposite, my thumbs are just blady huge.

What is Google Analytics: I don’t understand.

I Hijack the Beauty Tag: I’m sorry okay but the ‘Feminist Humour’ tag is currently a table for one and this originality is hindered further by ‘humor’ the American spelling so my blog would literally be impossible to find if it wasn’t for the well-established #bbloggers of the world. Don’t raise your contoured eyebrows at me. I’m sure one day the FemHum tag will be buzzin but til then…

I’m Always at Work When Posts Go Live: So now that I work Monday nights I had to decide rather change my blog day or write on Sunday and schedule for the next day. I picked the latter- although I feel like a massive fraud every time the post posts and the tweet tweets because I’m not doing it ‘live’- it’s also a lovely surprise after a busy shift of telling unnecessarily middle class people which aisle I think the tapioca starch is in. It’s even better when I have no notifs and start crying inside thinking everyone hates me and then realise my 4G was just off. Got to love O2.

What is Bloglovin’: I understood for a little bit but now I don’t understand again.

Google Images aka My Saviour: I don’t know how many times I intend to mention it today but my blog is a rather obscure category and therefore sometimes pictures can be impossible. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it’s easy to photograph your new Naked Palette in a flattering light, however it’s considerably easier than me trying to take pictures for a post about Tampon Tax or Free the Nipple. When I don’t have time to draw or contact photographers, Google images is a life saver.

So Teamales, spill your confessions: do you open products before you review them? Are you guilty of roaming the F4F tag? Have you ever stolen someone else’s blog post (dun dun dun)? Comment below and we can bond over our blogging failures.

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28 thoughts on “Confessions of a Bad Blogger

  1. Jani V says:

    Well if all of this makes us bad bloggers then I am the worst! Hahaha I schedule posts because I don’t know if/when I’ll be able to write or post when I am in rotations and my hours change every months and sometimes every week. I take pics in whatever light I cam and even though i try to plan posts, soemtimes I wont get inspired to write about x until a onth later. I am still trying to fully understand blogging and bloglovin to even try to understand google analytics LOL. Oh and in 2016 I disappeared several times *runs and hides*. Maybe to the “pros” we might be bad bloggers but I think all of this just makes us more genuine and real people. You do you and just be happy with what you are doing. Keep up the good work!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. 1weekmaryx says:

    Hahaha I love you for this! I can relate to SO many of these, like bloglovin and not scheduling posts, I wish I was that organised! Love this post, it really made me laugh too! Thanks for sharing Xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jess says:

      It’s taken me 20 days to reply to this comment. 20. I told you I’m a bad blogger!! I’m also super sorry, thank you for taking the time to read I do really really appreciate it even if I’m a complete fail whale when it comes to swift replies. If it’s any consolation, I’m still completely clueless about Bloglovin, they send me emails everyday like ‘X has just followed X’ and I’m like do I care? Srsly? I just have no idea how to disable them lol so stuck with that daily update about who’s following everyone else but me xo

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Amanda Jayne says:

    I love this post, I’m terrible at replying to my comments, but I love them and appreciate them, I just tend to read them via email (I use Disqus) and then I don’t remember to reply to them when I’m actually on my blog haha. Howling at ‘porn problems’ hahahahaha, awkward! I finally got Google Analytics, like a month ago, probably longer, and I haven’t looked at it since. :\ I don’t understand Bloglovin’ either. I have it, but I don’t understand why my blog is a separate like, thing from me as a blogger? So it’s like having two accounts? Also, like a lot of people have been saying lately, they’re just promoting big bloggers and numbers and it’s like, what’s this bullshit man? Help the little guys out, huh?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jess says:

      See what I mean when I say I’m bad- it’s taken me two blady weeks to reply to this!! I’m just so lazy I can’t even hide it anymore. I broke up for summer hols three days ago and my half eaten lunch is still in my bag, I just have no effort to put it in the bin. It can stay there a while longer.
      As for Bloglovin I have no idea what’s going on with that. I don’t want to SAVE other people’s posts like what’s that all about it’s weird enough having to follow them let alone publicly saving their work (what if I’m saving like COMING OUT TO MY PARENTS and everyone starts getting ideas about me??) I think BL is mainly a numbers game, I rarely read blogs on there and I get an email every week like UVE GAINED TWO BL FOLLOWERS I just laugh because I literally never use it so those two extra people are mugs. Twitter is way more personal imo. And it’s how I met you soooo 🙂 xx

      Like

    • Jess says:

      Haha luckily this was an original picture- it’s from Paperchase and was a Christmas gift so I don’t know if they’ll have this exact one still on sale however they always have the cutest designs. Unlike Google Analytics…nothing cute about that. Thanks for reading x

      Like

    • Jess says:

      Exactly! Or they say STOCK PHOTO across them in huge lettering and I’m like babe I get that copyright is a thing but is that really necessary? How will I illegally source you now? Thank you for reading x

      Like

    • Jess says:

      Don’t even remind me- I’ll be like OOH I fancy having a stalk of Becky’s blog and then realise you haven’t posted in 9 years and cry a little inside. Norty bb! I completely get what you mean though, I use so much energy sticking to my schedule and sometimes I’ll have really important stuff to do but prioritise my blog instead. Maybe now exams are done you can spam us all with posts xx

      Liked by 1 person

  4. The gym bug says:

    Confession – I’m a bad blogger! I don’t schedule posts or tweets, I just post when I feel like it. I hate taking photos and rarely edit them just use canva to stick a title on them and post! And I have no idea what Google analytics is or what SEO means 😂 love this post!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jess says:

      WhAt Is SeO? I’m not even going to bother learning that one. I learnt some HTML coding last year (literally all I could do was change the text colour) but then I updated WordPress and realised you could do it all by clicking the colour button so now I just cheat. Who knew blogging came with a whole new language? Someone should write a dictionary for clueless people like us😂x thanks for reading

      Liked by 1 person

  5. thegirlwithanaccent says:

    Haha! This is amazing. To be honest, I haven’t been blogging for that long. But I do tend to feel like an awful blogger sometimes. I don’t usually schedule posts (unless by some weird miracle I get a flow of inspiration.. which has happened once and it was about my pet hamster..) so blogging regularly can be seriously difficult sometimes. With all of life going on, it’s difficult to properly create posts regularly…
    And, seriously, can someone explain Google Analytics to me?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jess says:

      Maybe they make Google analytics so complicated so that you Google how to use it and then Google make more money hmm conspiracy. Seriously though this is so reassuring, I always think other bloggers understand everything so finding out they don’t is such a relief! Thank you for reading b xx

      Liked by 1 person

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