The Dumbest Shit I’ve Read on Twitter

I’ve been on Twitter a long time. And in that time I’ve seen a lot of ‘DS’ (dumb shit- not to be confused with the Nintendo DS because I genuinely couldn’t bring myself to say a bad word about Animal Crossing). I thought, in homage to me being away from blogging for so long, I would reminisce over the worst bits that I’ve seen in the meantime on social media, in hope that these would set the bar really low for my future posts.

‘Men cannot do domestic tasks because they are too busy building civilisation’ This was said by a meninist who believed men didn’t have time to participate in childcare, housework, cooking, etc. What he hasn’t realised is that, yeah men might’ve built the modern world, but women invented beer, monopoly and the folding cabinet bed, therefore we’ve built the perfect Friday night.

‘Women can’t be SAS trained. They’ll distract men. It’s biological’ Did you see SAS: Who Dares Wins? Did you watch a woman and a man come joint first without sleeping together? And when they were being interrogated in, like, Morocco, did you see her dramatically undo her ponytail, unveiling luscious Herbal Essence-d locks and apply Mac Velvet Teddy, causing all the spies to stop their highly classified, significant jobs and have a wank over her beauty instead? No. Because not every guy was straight. Not every woman is beautiful. And most importantly, these people are so skilled at doing their jobs so if a human with two lumps of fat on their upper torso and no dick can distract them that easily then I really don’t think they’re qualified to protect the country. Continue reading

Sexual Harassment at Work

I’ve just finished my final shift at my first paid job, working part time reducing out of date food for a supermarket. My general experience was faultless– I just want to establish that before I begin (so that this doesn’t affect me reapplying in the future) (and also so that, if you do know who I worked for, you don’t judge them). Blady loved my job. I quit because I had to study, not because of what I’m about to discuss.

Because I was both the youngest and fresh out the employment oven I suddenly became exposed to this world of sexual harassment. I was already familiar with catcalling (often when I was in my school uniform- not weird at all), everyday sexism and the occasional I’m-just-going-to-fall-asleep-in-your-lap-don’t-mind-me on the subway, but I had no idea what kind of timber ft Pitbull was going down in the workplace.

The company I worked for treated men and women almost perfectly equally- the ratio of female:male managers was pretty even and their wages were the same. The only difference was that the women’s shirts had waaay less buttons which left our necks more exposed and exemplified the huge colour difference between my orange foundation and chalk white neck. Oh and we didn’t get ties. As someone who blady loves a tie, this sucked. But, as much as I don’t want to justify their tailoring, these differences are so engrained in society that the company probably doesn’t even realise there’s anything wrong with them. So I’ll let that one lie.  Continue reading

Should We Support Ivanka Trump?

Headlines from the past few days make it apparent that Trump’s eldest daughter has been suffering from her father’s election:

‘Sales of Ivanka Trump apparel slumped at Nordstrom’

‘Upset with Trump the President, consumers boycott Trump the brand’

‘More companies drop Ivanka Trump products’

Here we see a female entrepreneur- a breed which is unfortunately still rare in the modern world- having her business boycotted due to the actions of the men in her life. On paper it’s a feminist’s nightmare, but in practice I think it’s pretty justified.

Don’t get me wrong, as a rule of thumb judging women for the actions of the men orbiting them is a no-go, but in this case, to blame men for the entirety of her demise just isn’t accurate. It’s not about boycotting Ivanka because of Donald’s actions (first name terms amiright), it’s about boycotting Ivanka because of her own. Or should I say lack of. Because yes, he is her father, and yes it would be blady awkward at their next family Thanksgiving if she publicly condemns his behaviour, but it’s still her choice not to do so. To deny that she has a choice is, as Sartre aka King Of My Heart describes it, ‘bad faith’. Continue reading

Anti-Feminist Guilty Pleasures

I’ve realised that I’m probably a misogynist. I’ve also realised that that’s probably okay.

I have the tendency to endorse rather anti-feminist things, which are important to address if we want to beat this (fifty shades of) grey area in feminism. People think that in order to be Queen Feminist you have to reject all the meaty bits of society and replace them with Quorn alternatives- but this doesn’t have to be the case. After all, we can’t all be perfectly pro-gender equality all the time, right? So, to deblur the lines of this black and white view of feminism, I thought I’d share some of my misogynistic guilty pleasures.

Fetty Wap/ the song that’s like *heavy trap beat* IN MA ROOOOM with a human centipede-esque ring of naked women on the album cover/ rap in general: It’s like, I know that saying ‘I made that bitch famous’ is both incredibly degrading and wildly inaccurate however it’s also blady catchy. It’s not fair to make such an absolute banger that you only realise it violates your human rights on your fifth listen because the four previous times you were slut-dropping too hard to hear the lyrics.

Fifty Shades Of Grey: Many feminists hate it. And to an extent I get it. The book does glamorise a relationship in which consent isn’t a thing and sexual dominance inaccurately urban sprawls into everyday life (causing me to do the cringey claw hands every time I’m asked to reduce anything on the same aisle as the vanilla ice cream). But this collection of readable porn pages became a bestseller and that’s so blady cool because it shows how many women wanted something like this. Men can discuss sex all they want but for women it’s a topic that’s considered unladylike and then BAM along comes (literally) Anastasia Steele telling us where it’s at.  Continue reading

Things Feminists Are Tired Of Hearing

Finish this sentence: I’m not a feminist because…

I don’t hate men: same! Omfg we clearly have so much in common, let’s legit go get waffles sometime. But in all seriousness, I don’t understand how this stereotype is still circulating. I’ve never met a feminist who hates men and I don’t even think the people who claim ‘all feminists hate men’ have ever met a feminist who hates men, they’d just rather take quotes from one misandrist, pro-guns campaigner on Twitter than listen to the truth from the tens of actual feminists around them. Yes, feminism advocates for women’s rights but it does this to achieve equality- which in turn benefits men. Because we love men. Especially ones with beards.

I don’t hate women: same! Omfg we clearly need to go for waffles too but my schedule’s a little booked up with all the newly converted male feminists rn so you might be waiting a while. In even more seriousness, I don’t even understand how this argument works. Surely, if you’re not calling yourself a feminist then that insinuates you hate women because you’re saying you don’t want them to be equal? Or maybe you’re just confused. Get some party rings in you and then come back with less ambiguity pls.  Continue reading

Have You Heard The Breaking News?

Anyone who knows me will know I hate the Daily Mail and anyone who’s stalked my blog will know that my favourite type of post to write are those in which I take my feminist leafblower and rid ‘sidebar of shame’ articles of their misogyny. Because this isn’t journalism, if anything, this is the work of a thesaurus and a review of Milan fashion week who’ve met over fondue in the First Dates restaurant and decided to give the whole ‘news’ thing a go. We can use last week’s headlines for evidence: Jess IzzNow you see, I don’t know who Jess Impazzi is (although after a quick Google it’s actually Impiazzi, which shows that the DM’s priorities are clearly not with the poor girl’s identity) however it sounds a little bit like my porn star alter ego. What amazes me most about this headline- other than ‘why have they written about this?’ but that doesn’t count because that’s my reaction to all these articles- is where can you buy a bikini that isn’t ‘barely there’? Like, surely that’s the point. You’re not going to hit the beach in an argyle jumper and bell bottom jeans (unless it’s Blackpool, or the 70s). When it comes to swimwear the point is usually the less tanlines the better so what I think DM meant to say is:  Continue reading