I feel like everyone hates periods. And this makes me really sad because, although they’re messy, painful, inconvenient, expensive, and considered taboo pretty much everywhere, I’m a big fan. Often it seems people overlook the joys of menstruating, so here’s a cheeky reminder of the period perks.
Period Boobs: Are the bomb. For 25 days of the month I’m looking in the mirror wondering how there are falafels bigger than my boobs and then bam my period hits and I have five days of feeling like Emily Ratajkowski in the Blurred Lines music video. Obviously the transformation isn’t that huge, but to me it feels like the Kylie Jenner boob job drama all over again. Who needs surgery when you can just menstruate instead?
Having An Excuse Not To Do Anything: Fuck all those articles that are like studies show that women who exercise for 62 hours a day whilst menstruating reduce their PMS symptoms by 3% (we all know that sociologists are probably just meninists in disguise anyway) because periods are the perfect excuse to sit on the sofa eating Ben and Jerry’s and catching up on the box set that you’ve managed to become two seasons behind on- cough cough Game of Thrones. Plus it means that every time you’re asked to contribute to housework or homework you can just clutch your stomach and maybe dramatically let a menstrual cup fall out your pocket and soon people will get the hint that you’re out of action for the next few days. Or weeks, depending on how long you milk it. Continue reading